


Sanstastic Pets

by i_try_my_best



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Bad Writing, F/F, F/M, Genderless Frisk, How Do I Tag, Mute Frisk, My First Fanfic, My first fanfic on this site, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reader Is Not Frisk, Sans Makes Puns, Slightly Socially Inept Reader, Slow Burn, Well not really, Will you ever unpack?, because he's sans, can't help that I swear, he has epilepsy, it's a bit sweary, its kinda sad, lesser dog deserves to be a main character, platonic relationship with lesser dog, reader is female, weird souled reader, well I can but, you have a dog
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-07-08
Packaged: 2018-06-10 05:13:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6941305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_try_my_best/pseuds/i_try_my_best
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Taking a walk in the park you meet an overly excited dog monster named Lesser Dog.</p><p>You meet him again on your next walk.</p><p>This time he brings you to his friends.</p><p>You have an iffy relationship with the comedic skeleton.</p><p>I don't know what I'm doing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pat the dog, the dog likes the pat

Moving back to your hometown has its pros and cons

Pros: You know where the hell you’re going, you know the people in said town… welp, that was it for pros.  
Cons: Everyone in the town hated you

Okay, sure, that may be a gross exaggeration but that doesn’t change the fact that quite a bit of them still remember you from high school and whisper. I guess another con could be that they’re massive racists to the new addition to society, monsters. Okay, so you like to exaggerate a lot. Not massive racists… just enough for you to notice it within two days of being here. The monsters are pretty well integrated into society, parks, schools, restaurants, hell, even bathrooms. It doesn’t stop you from seeing some looks that made you think that maybe that monster shit in someone’s cereal. 

You personally don’t care about the whole monster “situation”. Hey, as long as they’re not acting like asshole you’re fine with them. They don’t seem like bad people? creatures? whatever, they seem fine to you. You’ve never met with one but it’s only been two days since you’ve moved back, you’re not even unpacked yet! You should honestly be unpacking but it’s a beautiful day outside… the birds are singing… yada, yada. You decided to take your dog for a walk.

It was probably a bad idea in hindsight, seeing as your dog is always overly excited to see or do anything new. So walking him was a bitch, and then he saw a different dog. It looked like a golden retriever husky something-or-another, whatever breed it was, it was cute as hell. It ran towards you and your dog, your dog struggling against its leash in excitement. Oddly enough, this dog didn’t have a leash… or anyone looking after it for that matter.

“Hey buddy,” you reach out your hand to let the dog sniff it. 

*Its neck grows longer at the thought of pets.

“Oh.” Well this was new… is this, “are you a monster?”

*Affirmative bark

"Oh! Well then, you wouldn’t have an owner would you?”

*Another affirmative bark

“Okay… um, my name’s (Y/N), uh, what’s yours?” Nailed it.

*You learn that its name is Lesser Dog, L.D. for short

“Cute name L.D., uh, sorry for the little guy here… hehe, he’s, uh, he’s excited to see new people.” You can’t talk to people. Nope, not one bit.

*You feel the need to pet L.D.

*You pet L.D.  
*L.D.’s neck gets longer  
*You pet some more  
*Excited panting

“Okay buddy let’s not have you fly off into space.” This was ridiculous, what are you doing? You’re petting a monster dog is what you’re doing. Does it like fetch? Sure. Let’s find out.

Reaching into your bag, you take out a tennis ball. Throwing said ball was both the best and worst decision you’ve ever made. Watching L.D. run after the ball with its slightly elongated neck was the funniest fucking thing you’ve ever seen. Losing grip on your dog on the other hand…  
Okay, so maybe it was a bad idea.  
Yelling some profanities, you gave chase to your little doggie. He’s easy to catch, he’s a skittish little dude, so as soon as you’re running for him he’s crouching down looking like he was going to get the worst scolding of his life. Picking him up, you coo at him, apologizing giving him a scare.

*L.D. drops the ball at your feet

“Aw, thanks buddy,” placing your dog onto the ground, “I better get going though. I don’t want to spend too much time out here, gotta unpack and all…” You let out a nervous chuckle, god you're bad at talking.

*L.D. let’s out a small but curious whine 

“Oh! I, uh, moved here two days ago… I used to live here as a kid and I, um, uh, decided to move back?” Good, great, A+ on speaking.

*L.D. gives you a happy wag and bid you farwell

“Yeah, uh… see ya later L.D.” Pulling your dog away, you turn back to your apartment.

 

As soon as you’re in your apartment you realize you left the tennis ball at the park. Oh of course you did! You’re not going back, that’s for sure. Eh, your dog has plenty of other toys to play with, spoiling him rotten has its perks I guess. He deserves it for sure, but jeez, he’s expensive as all hell. With the fact that he needs pills to make sure his epilepsy is in check and the special food he gets so he doesn’t puke everything he eats and actually eats in the first place, he’s a hearty $600 minimum. You wouldn’t change it for the world though, despite the fact that he makes your bank account cry, he’s helped you through thick and thin and he’s taught you how to take care of yourself and others better. He’s a real life saver. 

If only he could unpack boxes. Eh, you’ll get it later, sure, later. Right now though, naps are calling your name. Putting food down for your little doggo, you walk to the couch and doze off, thinking about how exhausting unpacking will be.


	2. More Pats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet the rest of the gang.
> 
> And sans kinda hates you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!
> 
> Thanks for reading this story (even if it's kinda shit)
> 
> So, uh...
> 
> I have a tumblr!!!  
> Here it is: http://as-competent-as-a-potato.tumblr.com/  
> It's cringy so far, but it'll get better! Well, that's the plan anyways

Waking up from your nap was something you didn’t want to do, but you needed to adult. 

Looking at your clock you determine that it’s dinner time. Sighing heavily, you sluggishly get off your couch and make your way to your little kitchen. Thanking the gods for making sure you stalked up on food (if ramen and other microwavable items count as food,) you pop a cup ramen in the microwave.

No TV yet, meaning it’s browsing the internet time! Turning on your laptop while your dinner is cooking because, jeez, with all the stupid bullcrap you have on it it’s going to take a while. Sure, you’re proud of all the crap you’ve made but that doesn’t make your computer any faster. Once you make your way to the kitchen again you make sure to get a plate to place your cup, learning from last time, and you scoop up your puppers for some Netflix bonding time. Stealing his warmth because you’re too lazy to go and up the thermostat.

After watching 3 different comedians and eating all of your dinner you take your little doggie to bed, leaving the cup and plate AND laptop on your coffee table. You’ll get to it later, right? Once your dog is snuggly placed on your bed you take off your pants and change your shirt (what? Sleeping in your underwear is nice sometimes.) Checking the clock again you mentally swear at yourself; two in the morning, you were planning on getting up early and unpacking! Oh well, whatever happens happens right? 

 

Okay you really need to wake up at normal times, you need to eat brunch now, why must you do this? Whatever your reason, it’s time to feed the beast… and the dog. Feeding the dog is always a pain in the ass. Mainly because sometimes he doesn’t want to eat the “treat” that has his pills in it, and because he has an unnecessarily convoluted combination of foods for his dining pleasure. By convoluted you mean it has two different dog foods: one wet one in a can and one dry (and slightly mushy) one in a bag, complicated right? Today, you’re hiding the pills in some string cheese because today, so far, he likes string cheese. Getting his dish and filling the food was easy. Oh would you look at that, he’s actually eating once the dish is on the floor!

Nodding to yourself, you fish out some Jimmy Dean breakfast stuff, you might’ve said it was brunch but that didn’t mean brunch. Plus, that frozen breakfast shit was actually pretty good, speaking of good, it might be beneficial if you took your dog out after he’s done with his food. Man look at you! Being all adult and responsible… for the most part… we’ll ignore the time.

Okay, dog done? Good. We’re going for a walk again! Aw, look at him, wiggling all happy-like. With high spirit (kinda) you venture off into the place people call the “real world.” Just thinking about it gives you shivers. At least it’s not cold out, it being summer and all. Maybe if you walk around in that park again you’ll get to see Lesser Dog? Hopefully so, you really liked that cutie-patootie.

*You hear happy barks

“Speak of the devil,” you mumble to yourself, turning to the direction you heard the barks your smile grows larger at the sight of the goofy monster running towards you on… hind legs? He’s a monster I guess.

*Lesser Dog greets you with utmost enthusiasm

“Hey there bud!” You thought of patting his head but remembered last time, it might not be a good idea. “How ya doin’?” Hey, at least you’re feeling more comfortable around this guy.

*Lesser Dog wags his tale in great excitement, almost as if he’s wanting to show you something?

“What is it boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well?” L.D. tilts his head and halts his wagging for a second, “eh it’s a dated reference anyways bud, no bones about it.” Oh good, his tails wagging again. “You should just show me then, yeah?”

*L.D. takes off in the direction of where he came from, you have to follow him

Following him was harder than anticipated, who knew that walking a small, male dog would cause you to stop at every tree in sight? Surely you didn’t. It was pretty amusing to see the confusion on L.D.’s face every time he saw your dog stop to piss on the tulip trees (aka the trees in parks everywhere.) Once you made it to your destination, wherever that was to begin with, you noticed more monsters. The two bipedal goats were the first ones you saw, I mean, damn they were tall; they were probably over 6’5”. The next were the two skeletons, after that it was the fish and lizard woman (who were a couple?), then you saw the other dog. Oh. My. Good-golly-g. It was adorable. It was some sort of large Pomeranian, and I mean large, it probably reaches your hip!

It was the Pomeranian-looking monster dog that noticed you first. Seeing as soon as you made eye contact with it it bounded to you with great speed. Thank heavens it didn’t run INTO you, you don’t think your dog would be able to hand that much excitement; hell, even now he’s getting a bit skittish. 

*Greater Dog greets himsmelf

“Oh! Uh…” There goes my confidence, “Uh, hi. Um, I’m (Y/n)… it’s Greater Dog, right?” Get yourself together woman!

*Affirmative bark from both monster dogs

“Well, uh, L.D.! Um… hehe, uh, who are your other friends?” Jeez you need to work on your “talking to strangers” skill, little-miss whisper. L.D. leads you to, yay, more people. Hopefully you don’t make a complete ass of yourself. Wait… where did that human kid come from? Were they there the whole time?

“heya, buddy, you’re giving the kid some weird looks.” Oh, well that’s embarrassing. Blushing, you tear your eyes from the small human (you didn’t know you were staring THAT much!) Only to turn to the shorter skeleton, who’s much more intimidating up close.

“Oh, uh, s-sorry, hehe. Didn’t know I was doing th-that.” Chuckling nervously as you shrink under his really, honestly creepy gaze. “Um, you are?”

“sans, sans the skeleton,” his smile grew wider, how? He’s a skeleton, “and this is my bro, papyrus.”

“HELLO LARGER HUMAN. I, AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS.” Oh he’s much louder than expected, much, much louder and taller. Damn his height is intimidating. “I DON’T THINK WE KNOW YOUR NAME, HUMAN.” Oh, right. I hope his brashness doesn’t freak out your dog. Okay he seems fine.

“Oh, uh, right, my name’s (Y/N).” Jeez, that sans guy seems to really like giving you the stink eye, or what’s equivalent to a stink eye for a slightly malleable skeleton. Both of them are blinking? How are they doing that? What are monsters made of?

“OH, WHAT A SWEET NAME. NOT AS SWEET AS ME, BUT STILL.” Was that supposed to be a backhanded compliment? He seemed genuine. My goodness, you didn’t realize how tall he actually is until he crouched to look at your dog, “IS THIS YOUR ANIMAL, (Y/N)? WHAT’S ITS NAME?” He’s less intimidating crouching and petting a small dog no less. Aw, this is actually cute.

“Oh, well his name is-“ You’re cut off by some tugging at your pants, looking down, it’s the kid you stared at awkwardly. They’re using sign language. Shit, “uh, sorry lil’, um, kid… I, uh, don’t know ASL.” You recognized some things but not enough to know fully what they’re saying. Luckily the goat woman steps up to help.

“That’s quite alright, they were just introducing themselves,” she puts a protective paw on the kids shoulder, “They were saying their name’s Frisk. Oh! And I’m Toriel, and this is my husband,” she gestures to the other slightly larger goat man, “Asgore.” As you were about to shake hands with the goat man, the fish woman from before jumped in front of you.

“Well if we’re getting all of the introductions outta the way, I’m Undyne and this here,” she hoists up the lizard woman, who’s about half her own height, and holds her in front of you, “is my wonderful and smart girlfriend, Alphys!” Said girlfriend (so you were right about them becoming a couple) turned a cute shade of red and stuttered a scolding, saying something like, “you can’t just pick me up like that.” They seemed really cute.

“Uh, hi Undyne, and uh, Alphys.” When did Papyrus pick up your dog? He seems pretty happy with him. Your dog looks like he likes the petting too. “Okay… is, is that everyone?” You look around, “cool, um, alright.” You really need to work on your talking skills.

“OH HUMAN, LOOK! YOUR ANIMAL IS LICKING ME!” This skeleton is adorable, it has been decided, he’s the cutest thing ever. Your dog? Not nearly as cute as this lil’ muffin. 

“That means he likes you,” if you thought he couldn’t get any cuter, now he has stars in his eyes.

“YOU HEAR THAT SANS. HE LIKES ME.” sans is looking pretty peeved right now, does he not like you? What did you do?

“yeah, bro, it seems like you’re pawfect company.” You couldn’t help the snort that escaped. Wow, he must really hate you, his smile reduced a fraction. Ouch.

“BROTHER NO, AND HUMAN DON’T ENCOURAGE HIM.” Your smile got even wider, man this little muffin is going to give you diabetes he’s so sweet. 

“Papyrus,” the goat woman, Toriel? Papyrus is giving her a suspicious look, “no need to bark at your brother.” Papyrus looks done, so very done. He hands you your dog and walks off. You’ve never laughed this hard in your life. Wow. Hey look, sans is even chuckling too!

“Oh, man,” you wipe a tear from your eye, “that one was good one, Toriel.”

“Oh please, call me Tori.”

“Okay… Tori.” You couldn’t help but smile, these people were already treating you like a good friend. Except for sans but we’ll ignore him for now. He’s probably just really protective, you’d be too if your friends were on the receiving end of racism. Speciesism? One of them –ism things.

*L.D. wags his tail happily

“Yeah buddy, your friends are great.” Looking among them they all seemed pretty happy to be with you, even sans was fighting back a smile. Oh your dog’s getting squirmy, better place him down. 

*L.D. wags his tail, hoping for some pets?

“Sure bud, I think you’ve waited patiently enough.” Reaching your hand out makes L.D.’s neck grow a little longer, actually petting him though. Okay maybe L.D. is the cutest thing you’ve ever seen. It’s probably a tie.

*G.D. nudges your hand, asking for pets too

Soon enough you’re swamped by the two dogs, Papyrus comes back to pet your dog, Tori and sans throw around some puns (much to Papyrus’ dismay,) and Frisk comes to join in on the pet fest. You don’t know where Undyne and Alphys went, probably to do some gross couple stuff; hopefully nothing dirty. Soon enough two hours go by.

“Oh wow! I should probably go home and unpack!” You start to stand up, brushing off the grass from your pants. Others start to do the same.

“SO YOU JUST MOVED HERE?” Papyrus rose his brow, you stopped questioning how the skelebros work by now, as he handed you your dog bag. He was dead weight when you held him, did Papyrus pet him to sleep? Aw, cute.

“Well, kinda, I used to live here before and, uh, once I got done with college I decided to move back.”

“Oh so you already know your way around town?” Oh wow, you didn’t know Asgore had a really deep voice. “Do you know where the monster district is?”

“Well… no, I didn’t even know that there was a district. It’s my third day back so…” Asgore’s laugh was deep and booming.

“Well you know the local theater?” You nod, “well if you take a left, four blocks from there is the monster district. It has shops and restaurants run by monsters,” his smile grows a bit wider, “and I have my flower shop there too.”

“Oh! Well I’ll have to keep that in mind. Um, I was wondering if I could have all of your numbers so I could keep in contact?” Papyrus seemed to perk up at that.

“OH HUMAN, NO NEED! YOU CAN JUST GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER AND I CAN ADD YOU TO THE GROUP CHAT WE HAVE.” He takes out his phone, “YOU CAN ADD ALL OF OUR FRIENDS THERE!” 

“Oh, alright, cool!” Once you give Papyrus your number you pat L.D. one more time and bid everyone farewell. That was a pretty successful walk if you do say so yourself!

 

Making it home, you were pooped and your dog was pooped. Looking at your stacks of boxes, the bane of your existence, you decide you’ll unpack after this “quick” little nap. Snuggling your dog between you and the couch, you slip into the welcoming darkness of your procrastination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would really appreciate if y'all could send some feedback
> 
> Correcting things, telling me what you like an don't like, the pacing, whatever!
> 
> I want to improve so you have a better experience reading!


	3. Inside out (snas edition)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans' POV of when y'all meet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd recommend reading the 2nd chapter...  
> if you haven't already
> 
> also why are you reading outta order, bro?  
> (re-reading might be recommended 'cuz a lot of stuff was skipped for the sake of not wanting to repeat the same chapter over again)

“hey l.d. you caught a scent or somethin’?” 

apparently so, he just ran off. maybe he found a squirrel or somethin’? every dog monster has chased after one, including the amalgamite. scared the shit outta the locals, though. that was a trip. oh, it seems like l.d.’s comin’ back with… a human? and a dog. wha?

w h a t ‘ s w r o n g w i t h t h e i r s o u l 

it’s dim… blank? i mean, there’s color but it’s like seeing a stoic face. i can’t get a read on this kid, erm, adult. shit. i can’t rely on magic to know what they’re feelin’, i guess i’m going to have to use the primitive way… body language. i feel like and animal. okay, they’re coming over, be guarded, sans.

…

why’re they givin’ the kid that face? ugh, their soul’s still not lettin’ up.

“heya, buddy, you’re giving the kid some weird looks.” what’s this new look for? i shouldn’t’ve relied on soul expressions for so long. 

jesus, they’re stuttering up a storm… are they not comfortable with monsters? they could’ve thought that l.d. was just a normal dog. not the first time humans have done that, they normally just leave as soon as they see us, though.

“Um, you are?” well that was blunt.

“sans, sans the skeleton,” smile, it might make them more open for soul reading, “and this is my bro, papyrus.” okay, just keep trying to get a read. you don’t need to hear the others introductions, you know them already.

her face seemed to soften? bro’s pettin’ her dog. she probably cares about it. fuck! she’s a fucking fortress.

damnit undyne! get outta the way! there’s that soft look again, oh, paps is holdin’ the dog now.

w h a t d o e s t h a t e x p r e s s i o n m e a n  
w h y c a n ‘ t i r e a d t h e m

“YOU HEAR THAT SANS. HE LIKES ME.” bro, please, not now. quick think of somethin’ to say.

“yeah, bro, it seems like you’re pawfect company.” what? was that… a snort? they’re fighting back a smile, maybe? i. can’t. tell.

“No need to bark at your brother.” wow, tori, nice. aha! they’re laughing! their soul changed… it got slightly brighter.

 

“Oh please, call me Tori.” 

“Okay… Tori.” woah. that’s bright now. and i’m able to get somethin’. its not much but… happiness? hehe, good, they seem okay for now. paps seems to take a shine (heh) to the dog she has. and she likes l.d. and g.d., must be a dog person.

they’re soul seems to get brighter each interaction she has with us. thank fuck, there’s more than just happiness leaking through, it still seems like it’s guarded, though.

 

“H-hey sans?”

“yeah alphys?” they seem ready to go? undyne’s got her keys…

“Me and Alph are gonna go and watch that new anime that we found, we want to be able to finish season one today. Think you can tell the guys where we went?”

“huh? yeah, notaku problem.” eh, a stretch but-

“That was a stretch sans.” with that look on undyne’s face? it’s worth it.

“yeah, yeah. gotaku already.” waving my hand and chuckling as undyne growls away. man, that was good.

 

the human seems pretty comfortable now… maybe they’re just bad around strangers? hopefully. i really don’t want paps to have to go through the same thing again. i just, i wish they weren’t so guarded. i’ve learned from my mistakes that trusting a human that seems good at heart can hurt. boy, does it hurt.

loss of a brother. loss of everyone. slash through the chest-

“Oh wow! I should probably go home and unpack!” paps looks like he doesn’t want to give up the little dog. hehe… heh… so they use to live here? good to know.

 

“Oh, alright, cool!” paps and the human exchangin’ numbers? cool… he said he was gonna add her to the chat? get ready to be bombarded with memes and puns, ki- adult.

 

“ISN’T THAT HUMAN JUST THE NICEST, BROTHER?” i start to follow paps as he walks to our car, “I HAVE A GOOD FEELING ABOUT THIS ONE.”

“feel it in your bones, bro?”

“YES… NO! NO, YOU WILL NOT BE ALLOWED INTO THE CAR IF YOU INSIST ON PUNS.” eh, i can “walk.”

“aw, c’mon paps, no need tibia that way.”

“THAT’S IT! I’M LEAVING!” screech of the tires aaaand he’s off. heh.

wait.

what was the human’s name again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's wrong with your soul?
> 
> Who knows.
> 
> ...
> 
> (I know)
> 
> also nice going sans, forgetting the readers name.
> 
> hey... don't forget that cringe-ish tumblr I have:  
> http://as-competent-as-a-potato.tumblr.com/


	4. Spaghetti Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doggo has a seize, Papyroo invites you to a Spaghetti Party, you contemplate life

Well… you did say it was a “quick” nap.

Waking up to your dog having a seizure wasn’t uncommon but it was unwanted. All you can do right now is make sure he doesn’t thrash around too hard. Hopefully he won’t throw up this time, he’s been really good about that so far but you never know. Might as well take precautions. 

Making sure he’s on the floor with his little dog bed, you go off and grab a plastic bag. Just in case he starts to hurl before you’re able to take him to the kitchen tile. Dealing with a dog with epilepsy is a pain in the ass, but… he’s so sweet that you couldn’t even imagine giving him away. Now that everything is set all you can do is sit with him and wait for it to pass over. 

The occasional pat here, some encouraging words there and after almost an hour and twenty-five minutes, he’s finally done. Well, for the most part. He needs to rest now and he probably won’t eat his food or take his pills until tomorrow. That settles it, today is now a mellow day and you won’t be packing.

It seems like that’s going to become a trend.

Nonetheless, it’s time for catching up on Youtube. 

*DING*

Huh? Phone?

*DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING* 

OKAY, PHONE!

*9 Messages from (Unknown Number):  
“HELLO HUMAN”  
“IT IS I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS”  
“I WILL ADD YOU TO THE CHAT MOMENTARILY”  
“BUT FIRST I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO GO TO OUR SPAGHETTI PARTY?”  
“IT’S TOMORROW”  
“OH AND FOR THE CHAT”  
“I WOULD ADVISE YOU TO MUTE IT AS SOON AS YOU JOIN”  
“SANS LIKES TO SPAM IT CONSTANTLY”  
“SO DOES THE SMALL HUMAN, FRISK”

*Reply:  
“Yeah! I can totally go to your spaghetti party!”

You add Papyrus’ phone number to your contacts, and good timing too because as soon as you pressed “Save Contact”, you got spammed by the chat.

And by spammed you mean SPAMMED.

*40 Images from Monster Chat

Might as well add their phone numbers too.

*Add Contacts:  
Toriel: “Goat Mom”  
Asgore: “Goat Dad”  
Frisk: “Frisky Business”  
Alphys: “Clever Girl”  
Undyne: “Shark”  
Sans: “Snas”

Cool. Now that’s done. The chat’s muted. Youtube time.

Hours go by, wandering the depths of Youtube. You’ve gotten to the weird part of Youtube now, right now you’re listening to some guy do an ASMR review of a Shrek doll. What has your life come to? You went to college, got a degree, and for what? To end up here? Back at your old hometown, watching stupid videos on Youtube, unemployed? Sadly, yes, this is what your life has come to. At least you have that spaghetti party to go to. Y’know, another thing to keep you from actually finding a job and unpacking your things.

You’ll get to it later.

Maybe.

You should go to bed…. after this one video

 

Shit. Three in the morning. So much for one more video. Well, might as well sleep now before you go to “infinity and beyond.” Ya dingus. 

Grabbing your dog, you lead yourself to your bathroom. At least you unpacked the toiletries. Huh, you didn’t really need to grab your dog… you’re taking a shower. Okay then. Placing him down you watch him walk out the room. Shower time.

Shower time allowed you to think… and waste water. The focus of today?

Sans the skeleton. You have no clue what his problem is. He seemed like an ass. Though he could’ve just been having a bad day. You never know. Honestly, you hope that he doesn’t actually hate you; that’d suck and it would be a bit difficult to enjoy the party if he did. Plus, as far as you know, you didn’t do anything wrong… right? He seemed to actually be a humorous guy. You really hope you didn’t come off as rude to him because of your social ineptitude. It’s happened before when- SHIT. It’s fucking cold now.

Shower time over I guess.

After brushing your teeth and hair, you grab your dog once more and travel to your bedroom. Setting him in your bed you change into some pajama pants and lay down to sleep (who needs to change shirts for sleeping?) The sleep train was harder to board today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was just filler
> 
> Next chapter will be the actual party
> 
> Readers dog is based off of writers dog
> 
> Glad we know this now


	5. Actual Spaghetti Party Pt.1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yay, party time.
> 
> Meaning more social interactions.

Waking up was shit. You barely had any sleep thanks to racing thoughts. Stupid party. Stupid Papyrus, okay maybe hating Papyrus is taking it too far. It’s just… damnit you wanted to sleep but the anxiety of parties fried your brain.

Shower, food, and maybe a quick nap… when did he say it was? Did he even say?

… 

Okay no he didn’t say. A quick text should clear that up.

*Send:  
“Hey Pap when’s the party?”

Immediately he replied. Was he waiting for you to message?

“OH! I APOLOGIZE, IT’S AT 3PM AND GOES TO 7PM!”

Okay and what time… shit, 11am. So much for a nap, now you’ll have to just have to power through it. Showers take an hour (they’re so much nicer that way), eating food would take twenty minutes tops… changing would take thirty minutes? If you REALLY want to find something nice or at least decent for a second (better) impression. So it would be 12:50… maybe you could take a nap… no, knowing you, you’d sleep through the party.

Okay, now that you have your plan, it’s time to go. TO THE SHOWERS!

 

Maybe you shouldn’t’ve been so generous with your time. 1:50 was not the time you predicted, damnit! It was supposed to be an hour earlier. You can- SHIT. WHERE DO THEY LIVE?

*Send:  
“Where am I supposed to go?”

Wow. That’s pretty far… maybe a half hour drive? Okay so maybe at 2:10 you should go, that would maybe have you arrive at 2:40, 3:10 at worst.

Why are parties so difficult?

Phone? Check. Shoes? Check. Dog took pills? Check. Alright, to the spaghetti party.

 

There are a lot of cars parked in front of this house. This better be the right house or you will faint. Walking in front of the door you took a couple of moments to hype yourself up for the party (more like prepare for social interactions with practically strangers.) Okay, just knock on the door and… oh I guess sans was waiting. Creepy.

“Oh! H-hey sans!”

“hey.” Is he going to give you that look every time you meet? It’s going to be hard being nice to this guy if he’s going to hate you the whole time. His smile gets tighter. “why are you here?” Wait, what? Isn’t there a party? OH GOD WHAT IF IT’S NOT TODAY-

“SANS LET THE HUMAN IN! I WANT TO INTRODUCE THEM TO EVERYONE!” Oh thank god. Heh, sans doesn’t look too happy about me being here. He moves (reluctantly) out of the way, giving you just enough space to pass through. Why does he have to be an ass? “HUMAN! I AM GLAD TO SEE THAT YOU JOINED US FOR THIS GREAT PARTY! HOSTED BY… ME! THE GREAT PAPYRUS!” If this skeletons cuteness doesn’t kill you, it will be his bear hugs. You can’t breathe.

“Ah, thanks for inviting me,” wheeze, “but uh… Papyrus?” cough, “I can feel my ribs make a nest in my lungs.” You were immediately dropped on your ass. Ouch.

“OH HUMAN I’M SO SORRY! I DIDN’T KNOW THAT COULD HAPPEN! OH, IF I HAD KNOWN I WOULD’VE NEVER-“ 

“No, no, no! It’s fine Papyrus! I was just exaggerating! I’m fine, I’m- oh hey L.D.” Lesser Dog runs into your leg, multiple times. It also seems like Papyrus has calmed down. Cool, nearly make the skeleton cry and then get rammed by a dog monster. What a party.

“OH, HUMAN! I MUST SHOW YOU SOME OF MY FRIENDS! THEY ARE ALSO DOG MONSTERS LIKE LESSER AND GREATER DOG!” Does Papyrus not know his strength? Because he needs to not crush your hand and drag you around like a ragdoll. 

Once you were on your feet, because you were airborne while Papyrus was running to the kitchen, you spot Tori and Frisk. Tori was making something in the oven and Frisk was sitting on the counter signing to their mom. Oh! And two monster dogs… that… are, um… nuzzling? Kissing? Something in-between? They were dressed in a black onesie-looking thing. Whatever, they looked cute together non-the-less.

“DOGAMY, DOGARESSA! THIS IS THE HUMAN FRIEND I WAS TALKING ABOUT!” Both dogs look at you. They seem to recognize you pretty quickly. Have they seen you before? L.D. drags you to them by your pants. Oh buddy just don’t rip them, please.

“Oh so you’re the one (That L.D. met a few days ago?)” That’s so cute, they finish each other’s sentences! All these monsters are cute as hell! Well, with the exceptions of sans. 

“Oh! Uh… yeah! He’s great. Really cool a-and friendly!” You didn’t notice before but on their onesie-things they have each other’s faces. Why can’t humans be this great? “Um, so who’s Dogamy and who’s Dogaressa?” 

“I’m Dogamy (And I’m Dogaressa.)” You can’t get over how cute they are. Plus L.D. is giving the cutest puppy dog eyes. He needs to be petted. Dogamy chuckles, “I see you and L.D. (Have made good friends?)”

“Yeah… I guess so!” Huh, his neck doesn’t grow as long as it has before. Is he okay? The others must’ve noticed your worries.

“L.D.’s neck doesn’t (Grow as long the more he’s) Comfortable with people.” Making friends! Making friends! That is what you’re doing!

“(Y/N), I was wondering if you could take Frisk with you and L.D. outside!” Tori takes frisk off the counter and ruffles their hair, much to their chagrin, “I don’t want them to take any bites of what I’m making.”

“Oh, okay.” You take Frisk’s hand pretty awkwardly, silently wondering where Papyrus wondered off to. He couldn’t’ve sneaked off too far, right? He’s not that sneaky… right? RIGHT? Well that’s kinda scary then.

With Frisk leading you outside and L.D. trailing behind, you wonder what Tori is making, where Papyrus went, and why sans is currently sitting right in front of the backdoor.

Like seriously, why?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo, I did it!
> 
> Kinda.
> 
> There's more to come soon, hopefully soon.
> 
> Most likely.
> 
> I have literally nothing to do during summer.


	6. Actual Spaghetti Party Pt.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More party time!
> 
> Drama!
> 
> Romance???
> 
> PIE!!!

No, like, seriously? Why does sans have to be in front of the backdoor. Outside no less, does he have a goal? Is his goal making sure that you know that he’s an ass? Because you know already.

“Hey, uh, sans?” Oh that little shit, you can see the fucking smile that’s forming on his goddamn face. “Could you move out of the way? Frisk and I want to go outside.”

“want to, or have to?” 

“Have to.”

“why?”

“Because us humans are conspiring against the monster race.” You deadpanned, you’re really getting sick of this guy’s shit.

“really? well, don’t let me stop you,” he disappeared… what? “go right ahead.” Jumping a foot in the air, you quickly whip around to face the short skeleton laughing his boney ass off. Ooh the nerve (or, rather lack of nerve) of this guy.

Scowling, you walk outside. His laughs get even louder when you nearly fall as L.D. runs passed your legs. You get even more annoyed. Frisks is giggling. Can this day get any worse?

 

“so what’s your plan?”

“Huh?” You tear your eyes from Frisk and L.D. to squint at the short little skeleton.

“y’know, for taking down the ‘monster race’” Oh that’s a shit-eating grin if you’ve ever seen one, “or have you forgotten that that was what you were doing out here?”

“Oh, hardy-har-har. Are you normally this good at being an ass, or is it just me?” He looks surprised. Did... did he not know that he was being rude? No way, you can’t act like that towards someone and not know.

“wait, what?” He looked hurt, he had to have known! There’s no way you can just not know that you were an asshole! “shit, sorry. i’m just… cautious around humans. y’know how they can be. heh.” 

“Oh, uh, y-yeah. Um… y-you really didn’t know you were being an asshole?” He winced slightly, jeez, he must’ve really been clueless. What the hell.

“yeah, no… i didn’t. again, sorry. i just wanted to make sure you didn’t want to… hurt us in some way.” He turns to face you fully, “you aren’t planning on hurting us, a r e y o u ?” Oh shit. Where did his pupils go? What do you do? Did he break? FUCK, WHY IS HE SO CREEPY?

Did you say that out loud? Well whatever, he’s back now, laughing as if that didn’t nearly make you shit your pants.

“jeez, lighten up bucko, i was only joking.” He slaps you on the back, hard. Still laughing. Also, ‘bucko’, seriously?

“That didn’t seem like an ‘only joking’ face, buddy.”

“don’t be that way, friend.”

“All I’m saying, amigo, is that you need to tone down on the creep-o-meter. Or you’re going to give me a heart attack with how much stress you’re giving me.”

“alright, alright, i’ll tone it down a bit.” He wipes an imaginary tear once he calmed down. “what’s your name?”

“I gave it to you yesterday.” You deadpan. Did he seriously forget? Wow. Feel the love.

“yeah but… uh… heh,” he plays with his hands, fidgeting under your gaze, “well, i, um, never… c’mon just, just throw me a bone and let me catch your name.” You couldn’t help the snort that escaped your mouth, and it looks like he couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face.

“Well, it’s Nemo.” Fighting back the smile, you watch his face turn from amusement to confusion.

“nemo?”

“Yup.”

“you sure?”

“Positive.”

“really?”

“Mmhm.”

“no way.”

“Yes way.”

“it can’t be… nemo?”

“Yeah, oh! I’m going to go play with Frisk and L.D. now.” 

“wait!” He tried to grab your arm, but to no avail, you’re a sneak, “it can’t be-“

“Bye!”

“but it can’t-“

“Byeeee!” You skip off the back porch, laughing as you leave the annoying skeleton confused. Serves him right, he forgot your name.

 

After about two hours, Tori comes outside to call you in for supper. Hooray, food that wasn’t microwaved or made with hatred and (maybe) dirty dishes. Frisk was more hesitant to leave but with seeing how eager you were to go eat, they ran inside with L.D.. As you followed Tori, you were able to catch a glimpse of sans behind you. He’s really bad at not being creepy.

This dining room is really pretty. Wow. Shut your mouth woman! You’ll catch flies that way. It’s golden, the celling is pretty low but they managed to put a chandelier in the middle, there’s a round wooded table and how many chairs? You don’t want to count. A lot. The plates have cute little bones around them, this is great. It looks like everyone is already sitting.

Oh god it’s going to be like the beginning of high school all over again. Where do you sit? Oh, haha, never mind, Frisk wants you sandwiched between them and L.D.. Cute. Okay so it goes, Frisk, you, L.D., G.D., Dogamy and Dogaressa, some other dog, Undyne and Alphys (when did they- whatever), sans, Papyrus, Asgore, and then Tori. Who’s the other dog though? You haven’t seen them before.

“OH, HUMAN! I HAVE NOT INTRODUCED YOU TO DOGGO! DOGGO, MEET (Y/N), (Y/N) MEET DOGGO!” So that answers your questions pretty quickly.

“Hi.” You waved shyly, Doggo abruptly turned to you.

“Oh, hey human. Sorry, couldn’t see you for a second there.” What?

“DOGGO CAN ONLY SEE MOVING THINGS, HUMAN!” Has Papyrus always called you human and you didn’t notice? Probably. Off topic, back to Doggo. Please stop staring at me man

“Oh well, I’ll, um, make sure I keep moving then.”

“Don’t worry about it human, you’re moving enough already now.” Oh, haha, your leg’s doing that bouncing up-and-down thing. Hey, at least not everyone is staring at you. Lessens your worry of having to say the right thing. Although everyone here seems pretty accepting and cool about everything. Shit, was Doggo asking you something?

“oh it’s nemo, apparently.” Oh, you know what Doggo asked you now. The shit-eating grin on sans’ face is very infuriating, guess your names Nemo. Cool.

“Wait, but I thought it was (Y/N)?” Tori, and everyone else for that matter, was looking at you quizzically. “Were we mistaken?” Oh geez, there are so many eyes looking at you right now.

“Heheh, n-no you weren’t mistaken… uh, I was just ribbin’ sans is all.” Oh, that got some laughs. It seemed like you told a grade-A joke, it wasn’t that good, was it? At least once the laughs died down to just a couple of giggles, Papyrus announced that we could all get a taste of his wonderful spaghetti. That doesn’t sound like an innuendo at all, nope, not. At. All.

Wow, this is actually pretty good (but in reality anything not cooked instantly is pretty damn good to you.) After everyone got a plate, idle chat was to be had, most of the monsters asked you basic questions, ‘where did you move from?’ ‘What are you pursuing as a job?’ ‘Do you have any siblings?’ ‘Why did you move back?’ Well… they’re sort of basic questions. sans, of course, is just creepily and silently listening to everything… or at least you think he’s listening. 

At some point Tori disappeared, but when she came back, the heavenly smell of pie followed her. Pie. Oh dear, you need whatever she made, cinnamon and butterscotch? Yes please. 

“Mmm, Tori, this is amazing!” She blushed slightly at the complement, or was is the moan? You don’t care, this pie is amazing. 

“Oh dear, I wouldn’t mind sharing the recipe with you?” Hey, yeah, that means you can end up using that oven that you have! “I could write it down for you…”

“Yeah! That way I have a reason to use my new oven!” Another bite, “this is really good, though. Don’t think I’d be able to make it as good as you do.” Tori blushed again and did that hand wave that said, ‘oh you!’ Honestly all of these monsters are cute as hell. Except for sans, sans is just creepy. Okay and maybe sans, BUT only when he’s not being creepy.

 

After food, everyone hung out and talked and you weren’t awkward about it! Hooray! At some point they all started to watch anime. The dogs left, but not without L.D. giving you a proper goodbye. Cute, super cute. Five episodes later you decided it was time for you to leave too. Everyone said their goodbyes (and sans just stood there and gave you an awkward pat on the back.)

YEAH! A party that leaves you feeling good about yourself! That’s a first. Plus, you have a recipe for a fucking amazing pie. AND, and you (kinda) resolved tension between you and sans. Woo. Adulting.

‘Home is where the pants aren’t.’ That’s why as soon as you closed your front door, you threw your pants off. Once the pants were off, you grabbed your computer, dog, and blanket and marched to your room. Netflix ‘til you regret it in the morning? Netflix ‘til you regret it in the morning.

Sleep is for the weak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Nemo thing is actually going to be a recurring thing btw. I wanted to make sure I used a name that isn't actually common and Nemo was my first pick. 
> 
> There will be a bit about sans learning about where it came from.
> 
> ALSO
> 
> I TRIED TO STAY AHEAD OF SCHEDULE BUT I FUCKED UP
> 
> I HAD HALF OF THIS DONE WHEN THE LAST CHAPTER WAS OUT
> 
> GUAHHHHHHHH


	7. Visit for the Pets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get a visitor.
> 
> Yay!
> 
> Oh wait...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW IT'S BEEN A WHILE.
> 
> Or at least it feels like forever since I've written this.
> 
> I'm sorry, I'm working on a way to write more often.

Okay, so maybe watching Netflix “’til you regret it in the morning” was a bad idea. Your phone isn’t helping the situation either, whoever is trying to reach you is annoying.

Oh, Papyrus, and it’s 2pm. Welp.

*5 messages from: Pap Pap*  
“HUMAN!”  
“I WAS WONDERING WHAT YOUR ADDRESS IS!”  
“LESSER DOG WOULD LIKE TO VISIT!”  
“HE’S VERY EXCITED TO SEE YOUR HOME!”  
“SO WILL YOU TELL ME YOUR ADDRESS SO I CAN GIVE IT TO LESSER DOG!?”

*Reply:  
“Yeah here I’ll send you a google maps link so it’s easier (link)”

*Pap Pap:  
“THANK YOU HUMAN!”  
“LESSER DOG SHOULD ARRIVE SHORTLY!”

Alright, already gave them your address AND they already have your phone number. You’re just handing out your information like fucking candy aren’t you? I mean, you’ve already been to their house but still, you shouldn’t just give them your address-

*KNOCK KNOCK*

What.

How?

Getting out of bed, shit, you’re not even dressed! You took like, half an hour to get to their place how the hell… nevermind, you need to get pants. Pants where are you! Aha! Bright yellow you’ll have to do.

*KNOCK KNOCK*

“Coming, just hold up!” You’re not unpacked damnit! Fuck it, you’ll be fine. It’s just Lesser Dog. Running to the door (where’s your dog?) and yanking it open you realize it’s not just L.D..

“heh, that’s not how it goes, bud. you’re supposed to say ‘who’s there?’” 

Sans. 

Well Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was short so bear with me. It will hopefully be longer next chapter.
> 
> Also
> 
> Sans shenanigans and dog shenanigans!
> 
> I've sorta become inactive in all of my media sites, honestly, so I'm going to try and come back. Maybe not on tumblr but twitter and... twitter. Or maybe not at all. I actually don't like posting things too much. 
> 
> i also dont know how to use tumblr too well.

**Author's Note:**

> I want to hear how the story is going, so please don't be shy and tell me how you're feeling about it.  
> I want to improve my writing so we can enjoy this adventure together.  
> I sound like a robot.  
> ...  
> It's fine.
> 
> Don't forget my cringe tumblr:  
> http://as-competent-as-a-potato.tumblr.com/
> 
> And my more cringe twitter:  
> https://twitter.com/spcemnfrvrr


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